WHY WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH?

A muffintopper has finally come forward with an STFU nomination!

I’m so glad she could come to me. If I can’t spread sunshine and light into the world, I hope at least I can be a sounding board and venue for you to bestow some much deserved stfu sammies!

I’m all about helping my fellow (wo)man.

So, this particular muffintopper travels a ton for work. She, regrettably, found herself having to merge into a single line at a toll booth late one night. Already anxious to get home, the single toll lane didn’t help. (And really, come on New Hampshire….when peeps are waiting in line to pay for the pleasure of driving on your roads, at least make it snappy, ‘mkay? And if not, you best be handing out some french fries or Dunks coffee in that little booth to make up for it. Hmm…me thinks I have a good revenue generating plan…. Governor Lynch…..Cawl me!) Watch out Mickey D’s, New Hampshire’s streamlining!

Anyhoo, you can guess what happened next. Some asshat crept up beside her, and started to try to inch his way in. CUTTER! We’ve all been there. If you grew up in Massachusetts like me, or somewhere in the Northeast (or anywhere y’all is not spoken and cowboy hats are just for Halloween), you know this is where things can get ugly as you go car-o a car-o to see who ‘wins’.

Now, this muffintopper told me straight up, “I let him in, but not before I was a little bitchy about it!”

LOVE!

MIND YOUR MANNERS AND NO ONE WILL GET HURT!

See, if someone has the audacity to be a CUTTER (!), then really, isn’t it your duty to make it just a whole heaping ass load teensy bit difficult?

Natch. It’s a no brainer.

So then, after muffintopper let CUTTER (!) go? Well, CUTTER (!) did not even wave thanks.

HATE!

I hatehatehatehatehatehatehateHATE when I let someone go in traffic and they don’t wave thanks. Rude! Ingrates! WHO are you to not wave thanks? People like that contribute to the delinquency of moi, because then I get all huffy and snarky and mouth off, usually something like, “You’re welcome, d-bag!” and then my poor, innocent children squeak in concert, “What’s a d-bag?” from the back seat, and then, then (!) I have to explain it’s not a nice word, and then, then (!), they have to ask me “Why did I say a not nice word” and “Why isn’t it a nice word?” and then, then (!) I want to ram your car with my front grill and shout, “YOU’RE WELCOME, and when my kid yells ‘d-bag’ at the checkout counter or at his preschool, I WILL FIND YOU! And, now I will NOT win ‘Mother of the Year’ for like the fifth year in a row!” (And I have it on good authority I was not even this close to winning this year.)

But that’s just me…..

What?

But see, a funny thing happened on the way to the toll booth……….

Gracious muffintopper went to pay, and the toll worker told her the guy in front of her (CUTTER!) paid her toll.

And she thought, “Well, I’ll be damned!”

She  mulled it over and thought, “Hmm, maybe I deserve the STFU sammie this week, because I groused about this guy, but then he ended up paying it forward as a thank you for letting him in.”

And I said, “Don’t you feel badly because he’s still a CUTTER! He should have paid for you! THE CUTTER! CUTTERS should pay!”

YEAH! Cutter (!).

CUTTERCUTTERPAYCUTTERCUTTERPAYCUTTERCUTTER!

Then I thought….you know, sometimes in life when people are rushing and they fly by us on the road, cutting in, not saying thanks, letting the door drop in our faces (growl) at stores and such, I often think it only takes a second to employ some good manners and civility.  But then I’ve also thought, I guess you never know what someone is going through until you walk in their shoes. Maybe that guy had a sick family member he was rushing to go see, or a wife in labor, or he’s worried about his job or his mom forgot to pack his Twinkie in his lunch box, or who knows what. So then I felt badly, too. Maybe I’ve been too hard on the cutters. Aww.

But then I thought, “Nah, he’s probably just another d-bag!”

What do YOU think???????????????????????