Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 12-05-2011
Roses are red
Violets are blue
God damn you fracking pollen
I’ve had enough of you.
Old man winter has come and gone
I can finally see my lawn!
For sixth months I trudged through rain, sleet, and snow
So there’s something you really need to know.
I want to fling open the house and get some fresh air
I want to run through the meadow and let down my hair
I want to be able to smell a beautiful flower
Without having to take a ten minute shower!
Oh pollen, you dirty rat bastard
You make my breathing all haphazard
Your very sight makes me sneeze
In your wake I do wheeze.
You’re nuthin’ but a textbook…. tease.
Everyone else gets to frolic and play
While inside sneezing I grudgingly stay
I rub and rub my sad eyes raw
It’s the ugliest sight you ever saw
Bloodshot eyes and a ruby red face
People must think I’m on a bender all over the damn place!
So desperate I am to cure my hay fever
I’d agree to be locked in a room with only Justin Bieber!
My blood I would give, my possessions I would sell
If you would only just go straight to hell!
Nose spray, eye drops, and two pills I do swallow.
But everywhere I go, you seem to taunt and follow.
Perhaps you missed the memo, status update and tweet?
It’s about time you beat a hasty retreat.
I’m not kidding. Not kidding at all.
If you don’t hit the bricks I’m gonna beat your pollen ass straight into fall!