THE TALE OF A $270 MIGRAINE

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Posted in Awesomeness, Boys, boys, boys! And did I mention, boys?, Friends...you got what I ne-ed, OH &^%$!!, Random Rage, Suburban Madness, Things that make you go....awwww, Uncategorized | Posted on 10-09-2012

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Yesterday I woke up and it felt like Mickey Ward was trying to fight his way right out of my head. A migraine plus sinusy allergy fun relegated me to a heap in my bed until lunchtime. Fist bump to the hubs, because he took all three gremlins to do the weekly food shop, which is truly a fool’s errand. Taking one is easy, two, eh, not so bad, but for some reason just one more makes for menage a market madness.

Gogurts, and cookies, and candy! Oh my! 

You do what you gotta do, just to get by!

If you make it out in under one hour

Without knocking down an endcap tower,

Happy hour you do deserve

For you will be on your very last nerve!

I plodded down the stairs when I heard rattling below to find every square inch of countertop and part of the floor covered in bags. Hubs looked up sheepishly.

“I just spent $270. And I have no idea what I bought.”

Needless to say, my headache did not improve.

“I had $9 in coupons!” he beamed.

Oh good, that will pay for my second migraine pill!

 

THIS IS ONE SIDE. ONE SIDE!

Feeding a family of three boys, a grown man, and a muffin top ain’t cheap, so it wasn’t exactly ridiculous. And really, who can complain with a guy who left me to rest while he went into grocery combat with three little boys on Sunday before a Pat’s game? But I’m not gonna lie. For $270, I hoped maybe there’d be a filet or two in the bag? Some lobster?

There was no fancy protein.

Actually, there was no meat at all.

We are not vegetarians.

Oh Mickey Ward, you rat bastard! Meet me in the ring after Happy Hour you punk!

I’m sorry–I need to clarify–there was no dinner time meat. Technically, there was meat: ¬†cold cuts, pepperoni, and two packs of turkey bacon. (Turkey bacon? That’s not even right.)

Don’t worry, the two pounds of salted butter will offset any arterial improvement from the faux bacon!

And the good news is, with four taco dinner kits, four boxes of rice pilaf, and three boxes of pasta, two loaves of bread, loaf of cinnamon bread, two bags of bagels, rolls, hot dog buns, and hamburger buns,we can carbo load for a marathon! But we won’t. Because we’re lazy. And, we’ll be in a coma after we wash it all down with our sixty beers.

He got booze! Things could be worse right?

Plus? This looks random fun.

I WANNA SAY THE KIDS BEGGED HIM FOR THESE, BUT NO, SORRY NO.

Bad week to start a diet…..Bon Appetit!

 

WHO NEEDS MEAT? I CAN'T EVEN COOK ANYWAY!

 

 

 

Comments (10)

Photolist. It’s the only way…cameraphone the desired objects, it’s the only way to ensure the correct products make it home. *But that’s effort-intensive!* Of course it is. You’re still working…working to ensure you won’t have to live off Shake-n-Pour for the rest of the week.

Which looks amazing, btw. Thank goodness that’s not available up here.

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Love it! I let Joe take all the kids to BJ’s once and he came home with enormous boxes of Frosted Flakes, Lucky Charms, and Cocoa Puffs. And this man is a dentist!

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@Kana Shake-n-Pour….can we get any lazier??? I have to say I’m rather intrigued. I’ll let you know how it turns out!

@Carrie I swear when you shop with all of them, you just start throwing stuff in the cart hoping you get out alive! That’s too funny though–at least their fillings will be free!

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Sounds like you’ll be having cousin Eddie burgers from the movie, “Vacation” – “I don’t know why they call this stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh?”

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Mickey Ward needs shanked. $270 and no MEAT!? What in the name of filet mignon happened there? Meh. At least he got beer.

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“Plus? This looks (random) fun.” OMG…too funny! I love that he picked it out and not the kids. Sounds like my hubby. My husband has come back from the liquor store prepping for a family party with a $300 bill. Serious? There are only 8 adults, Dude!

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Meat be derned. There IS Shake-N-Pour. ‘Nuff said. (However, major props to your hubs for braving the grocery store with all three. Alone.)

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@Terri, I don’t even want to tell you what we had for dinner tonight!!!! Too funny. But @Dawn, it was washed down with brews!
@Stacey, oh yes, our hubs could get in some trouble together, for SURE!!! Hubs has already been banned from Tarjay. No, I’m not kidding. And let me not start on the party shopping. Isn’t this supposed to be the other way around?
@MIssay…Shake-N-Pour…it might be what’s for dinner tomorrow!! :) He does get cred. I am not mad. I am just rolling with our new cuisine!

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And it was at Market Basket!! How much food do you have to buy to spend $270 there?? $270 in groceries from Market Basket is like $340 of groceries someplace else. Oh, the humanity! :)

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I know, @Jessica!! I would have totally pointed out it was the Basket and so $270 is even more crazy, but I figured only people from around these parts would get it!! I think it’s hilarious you noticed that and SOO true!

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