A KINDERGARTNER AND A PRISONER BOTH WALK INTO AN ER….

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Posted in Boys, boys, boys! And did I mention, boys?, Friends...you got what I ne-ed, OH &^%$!!, Random Rage, Uncategorized | Posted on 08-11-2012

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This is the place where my sad yet funny post was supposed to go—the one I spent 90 minutes on and then deleted by accident because I was geeking out watching and analyzing election results pretending to be Tim Russert God rest his soul, and forgot to hit save and then shut my computer down because I was up past my bedtime and was delirious from drinking with Diane Sawyer and since I don’t have another 90 minutes to re-write it but can only imagine you want to know the deets on my 5 year old breaking his arm in two places in our basement during the hurricane and then us hydroplaning on the way to the “hostiple” but what good luck we were safe because I used to drive race cars live in Boston and then us getting to xray and the xray tech whipping open the door only to yell, “WHOA!” because there was a handcuffed inmate in an orange prisoner jumpsuit splayed out on the xray table with two armed corrections officers standing over him but what good luck again because there were no attempted jail breaks that day and no shots fired and little 5 year old was in so much pain it didn’t even occur to him it was odd to see an orange jumpsuit clad handcuffed man with two huge men with guns in the room he needed to be in and oh did I mention I chose this ER and drove further to get to it as poor five year old yelped in agony as we hydroplaned along because I thought it would be more “soothing” and “kid friendly” because they have a special pediatric er…oh yes…can I say it again? I CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP.

 

You’ll forgive my abbreviated post because I want to go to a party tonight and I think we all know I deserve a drink. Can you believe I wrote this in only ten minutes? Bet you can’t even tell!

*OMGUPDATE. My ten minute post turned into an hour long photo debacle. I’ve been trying to make my pics bigger, because someone told me the pics on my blog should be bigger, but instead of BIGGER, I somehow made them the size of my HOUSE, and I tried to “fix” them.  I don’t even know what to say, and yes, I am 100% sober. I do not know what happened to all these photos and why they are all over the place. Clearly, I am in the wrong line of unpaid work. I was, ironically, trying to make the pics bigger on the advice of someone who I was trying to get a PAID blogging gig from. I quit!!!!!! I’m going on strike. I’ll be with my IV of beer if you need me. Good night!

**No, I am not on any meds, besides what comes in an aluminum can or a Flintstones bottle. Do you have any recommendations?????? RAH!!!!

Comments (9)

I hate to tell you how great your post was, especially since there was a little guy in so much pain.
BUT, IT WAS KINDA GREAT!

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OTG, thank you, I think. Since it took me 10 minutes to write I’m not sure the rest of my three years worth of blood and sweat were worth it. HA HA. The good news is, I don’t think 5 year old remembers much of the pain, thank God. :)

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Both of my kids ER visits rank among the top worst experiences of my adult life. (One visit was in a foreign country, the other involved a spinal tap on an 8 week old.) Just wanted to give you a mama fist pump in solidarity and empathy. Cheers, lady…

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And I thought a trip to the dentist for my little one on Halloween and a tooth extraction the next day sucked. I must say, I love the giant run-on sentence approach to blogging. It would totally save so much time and aggravation. Probably have the same readership too.

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@Deb Murphy that is brutal! So sorry. We’ve had a few ER visits for stitches, etc, but this takes the cake. When I heard the scream I knew it was bad and when I saw his arm even I could tell it was broken. :( Sometimes being a mom is so scary!

@Teri Ow on the tooth extraction….and yeah, I decided since I was never getting the real blog post back, I’d just hit the high points in ONE sentence!! Tada. Funny that the psycho pictures took me like 8x as long as the post. I give up. For reals! I might need a blogging hiatus!!!

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Glad that everyone’s okay. You should have inquired more about the orange jumpsuit guy. Maybe had coffee with the COs that would have made for great story!

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Run-on sentences rock. Irish shamrocks and Italian flags hanging out together on a cast? Who says we’re a country divided. Pfft… Move over, I’d like to share your IV.

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First of all, OUCH!! ooooxooo him!
Second of all, he is the cutest little Irish-Italian since Bruce Springsteen was a lad.
Third of all, you write the world’s best, funniest run-on sentences! Wish I could do that. My sentences come out all choppy-like.
Love ya, BDB, and I hope your little man is doing better.

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@Marta I think I could write a book if I sat around the ER long enough!
@Missy…we are the world. We really are.
@Dawn He def got the best of all the genes, and has the gift of gab, to boot. And, I think we need to bring run on sentences back! :) Punctuation be damned!

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