PSST….IS THAT A VINTAGE GOSSIP BENCH OR A MOMMY’S TIME OUT CHAIR?

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Posted in Awesomeness, Boys, boys, boys! And did I mention, boys?, Friends...you got what I ne-ed, Mom-ness, OH &^%$!!, Retail Therapy, Some things just don't fit into a neat little box. The uncategory! | Posted on 31-01-2013

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Have you ever heard the words?

Gossip bench.

If that alone doesn’t intrigue you just fuhget it and get off mah lawn now!

A gossip bench, or telephone table, are gems from a time gone by. Basically, it’s a chair attached to a little table. Way, WAY (and by way, way, I’m really not sure how long, lemme be honest) before cordless phones were even a thought in some MIT trained brain and people couldn’t yuk it up in every corner of the house, people had beauties just like this:

ONCE AGAIN, I NEED SOME PHOTOGRAPHY 411 BUT YOU GET THE IDEA. ISN'T SHE GRAND?

 

Look at this lovely detailing:

THAT'S THE WAY, UH HUH, UH HUH, I LIKE IT, KC AND THE SUNSHINE BAND!

 

So the rotary phone went on top of the table part, and the phone book went underneath. And the gossipy hausfrau’s arse went on the seat. Amen. I really wish that table could talk. How many incredible conversations might have gone on? I believe this table might be from the 40′s, so my imagination runs wild thinking about it. A GI calling his girlfriend? A mom calling her newlywed daughter to share recipes? Two teenagers talking about what—I don’t even know what?! Two gossipy hausfraus talking about seeing so and so’s daughter at the five and dime with a too short skirt? WHO KNOWS!

All I know is I love this random piece of furniture! And hubs loved me enough to schlep it for me from some guy I found…wait for it….on Craigslist. A man who…let me just say, hubs said after picking up this piece of history, “I don’t want to speak of it again. Sanford and Sons. Without fun Sanford. Or his son.”

Okay then.

For better or worse, people. We took vows!!!

The wood on this table was actually in pretty good shape–you can’t see too well from my iphone trick photography, but it wasn’t the best stain job. All I did was unscrew the seat and slap two coats of miracle Annie Sloan chalk paint in the same Chateau Grey shade I used on my sideboard redo. It took no time at all.

SCALPEL, PLEASE. HA HA. JUST A PHILLIPS HEAD. I FIGURED IT OUT---THIS ISN'T BRAIN SURGERY, KIDS!

 

I bought some fun, sturdy (yet elegant!), upholstery grade fabric at Hobby (I love you!) Lobby, cut a square, and stapled it. I have skillz. (Not really. Noooo.)

WE MEET AGAIN, RUDOLPH SCISSORS!

THIS PART IS ROUGH. PAY ATTENTION. YOU FLIP THE CUSHION OVER, PUT IT OVER THE CHAIR FRAME, AND SCREW IT BACK IN. NEXT WEEK I''M TOTALLY APPLYING TO GRAD SKOOL AT HARVARD.

Before I put the cushion on permanently, I did wax and buff it so it would have a softer, less…well, chalky finish. I did distress it lightly as well.

So here are some pics of the almost finished product:

THIS WAS PRE-WAX AND DISTRESS.

 

I PUFFY HEART THIS FABRIC.

 

And…..now my gossip bench is ready for some 21st century action. I have actually renamed it the Chatty Kathy bench or Mommy’s Time Out chair. I love my kids, you love your kids, all of us who have kids LOVE OUR KIDS. But sometimes, they are ginormous PITAS! (Pains in the asses. You’re welcome.) At which point, we need an escape. Well, the French¬†New Hampshire riviera is not always possible. I give you, Mommy’s Time Out Chair:

PEEP, A KINDLE, SOME VINO. YES, I DO BELIEVE THIS IS THE RECIPE FOR SOME MODERN DAY GOSSIP. I FEEL PROUD TO UPHOLD ITS HERITAGE IN A MODERN WAY!

YES, PLEASE.

 

ONE MORE SHOT. BECAUSE YOU KNOW I DIDN'T GET TO REALLY SIT FOR THAT LONG!

 

The funny thing is, with all of my recent Craiglisting, and seeing what these go for redone (and even not redone) on Etsy, Ebay, and Craigslist, I planned to sell the Chatty Kathy. But hubs —who wouldda thunk?? Has taken a shine to it and asked me not to sell it. What!? I know.

However, if you are reading this and you have a pocket full of cash burning a hole in your pocket, I will totally cut it free behind hub’s back ¬†(For better or worse, people!) for the right price. Because the French Riviera Disneyworld is calling my name!

 

 

 

Comments (15)

You are on fire…another great redo! You make it look so easy.

PS…I suggest a coaster for glasses…don’t want to damage it!

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Thanks @OTG, and might I add, the glass wasn’t on the table long enough to leave a ring. #guzzleguzzle But that reminds me, I needs some new fun coasters! And it was EASY. Truly.

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Skillz. Mad skillz, girl! Your hubs just best make sure you get some time to utilize that bench. That would be for better, fo sho!

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Modge podge makes a really cool product… I can’t recall the exact name of it… It’s like a liquid epoxy. Buy an ugly set of cork backed coasters from the dollar store, paint them, or cover them on fabric, add a layer of the epoxy stuff, and let it dry. It turns out amazing, and you’d have matching coasters! :)

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Yes, @Missy, you should discuss that with him this weekend while I discuss Flo-rida with your hubs! :)

@Erin Thank you so much! I have never used modge podge and am not crafty but now you have my wheels spinning!

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Hi Janet. Love this redo. It’s great, and I know it’s history will sing to you in various ways. It really is a great, great piece. Well done, well done.

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Thanks, Nikki! I’m loving it — it really brightens up the space and is a great conversation piece!

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What a talent you are developing. The new Martha, perhaps? I think it could work! You are much funnier and pleasant than that gal.

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My mom still has her phone on one in her hallway. I like your version. You are definitely inspiring me with your posts. I would rather save the big furniture money for a nice, big u or L shaped sectional for my family of 6. Finding treasures and making them your own, looks like fun and the pay off can be huge.

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Anna, Thanks! And I bet your mom’s looks great in her house. That was a cool, old house with character! I totally agree, btw–we are jonesing for a nice sectional. Defo in sticker shock!!!

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I liked it before! Enough with the green paint!!!!

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I am LOVING all these furniture re-dos! You’re inspiring me to find some aged beauties for my house and give them some TLC. Keep it coming!!

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Thanks, @Mama, and thanks for stopping by. I’m probably going to split off and do a separate DIY blog here soon bc I’m not sure all of the original muffintoppers are all about DIY, but some love it so I might try to do both! :)

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I’m loving the DIY stuff. You’ve done a great job. We had a table like that growing up. Ours didn’t have a nice padded seat. I think it was uncomfortable on purpose.

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Hi! I came across your blog while trying to find a history of the gossip bench my husband got me for Christmas. Yours is the exact same as mine, and the only duplicate I have found on the internet. Do you know anything about it? Era, manufacturer, history? I love my sweet little bench and LOVE your idea of making it a mommy timeout chair!

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