Roses are red
Violets are blue
Hey, school year
I’m done with you!
Getting up at the crack
To make all those lunches
Oops forgot to buy new bread
I wanna throw some punches.
Permission slips, class parties, more homework
I don’t care what 2 + 2 is
I’m gonna go berserk.
More standardized testing
To see how smart they are
Don’t fill in the wrong bubble!
Or you’ll never get that far!
You can paint a picture
And play on your recorder
But flunk the 3rd grade test?
You wind up in mama’s basement as a boarder.
Racing kids to school
My pj pants on fire
Told the kids I used to look good
But they called me a big, fat li-ah.
In Septemer I’d wash my hair and do up my face
Now I shuffle in like a hobo who just got maced
“Wait!” I holler, one eye open, “Here’s your library book!”
Your mama is a hobo but she ain’t no crook!
PTA, you stay away!
Who has time for that today!
Not I! Not me!
I… have to wash my hair you see
It will just take one small hour?
Fine! I’ll do it in the shower!
Schlepping to the sports field after school is just so dreamy.
My head hurts from new math so stop being screamy!
Your kid’s not going pro; I don’t care where you work
Unless you sell fresh bread and milk, go away you jerk.
Going home with hungry kids
It’s time for dinner!
Stick my head in the freezer.
I really am a winner.
Bad news, petrified fish sticks is dinner for us
But I did find a lost library book–that’s a plus!
Waving the white flag–this game is done.
I did my best and it’s true, I failed.
The mother of the year train has long derailed.
When the final bus pulls up
I hope you’ll join me for a cup
And toast that we can be so free
What? It’s only noon noon not three?
I won’t tell on you, if you don’t tell on me!