THE TALE OF A $270 MIGRAINE

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Posted by muffintopmommy | Posted in Awesomeness, Boys, boys, boys! And did I mention, boys?, Friends...you got what I ne-ed, OH &^%$!!, Random Rage, Suburban Madness, Things that make you go....awwww, Uncategorized | Posted on 10-09-2012

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Yesterday I woke up and it felt like Mickey Ward was trying to fight his way right out of my head. A migraine plus sinusy allergy fun relegated me to a heap in my bed until lunchtime. Fist bump to the hubs, because he took all three gremlins to do the weekly food shop, which is truly a fool’s errand. Taking one is easy, two, eh, not so bad, but for some reason just one more makes for menage a market madness.

Gogurts, and cookies, and candy! Oh my! 

You do what you gotta do, just to get by!

If you make it out in under one hour

Without knocking down an endcap tower,

Happy hour you do deserve

For you will be on your very last nerve!

I plodded down the stairs when I heard rattling below to find every square inch of countertop and part of the floor covered in bags. Hubs looked up sheepishly.

“I just spent $270. And I have no idea what I bought.”

Needless to say, my headache did not improve.

“I had $9 in coupons!” he beamed.

Oh good, that will pay for my second migraine pill!

 

THIS IS ONE SIDE. ONE SIDE!

Feeding a family of three boys, a grown man, and a muffin top ain’t cheap, so it wasn’t exactly ridiculous. And really, who can complain with a guy who left me to rest while he went into grocery combat with three little boys on Sunday before a Pat’s game? But I’m not gonna lie. For $270, I hoped maybe there’d be a filet or two in the bag? Some lobster?

There was no fancy protein.

Actually, there was no meat at all.

We are not vegetarians.

Oh Mickey Ward, you rat bastard! Meet me in the ring after Happy Hour you punk!

I’m sorry–I need to clarify–there was no dinner time meat. Technically, there was meat: ¬†cold cuts, pepperoni, and two packs of turkey bacon. (Turkey bacon? That’s not even right.)

Don’t worry, the two pounds of salted butter will offset any arterial improvement from the faux bacon!

And the good news is, with four taco dinner kits, four boxes of rice pilaf, and three boxes of pasta, two loaves of bread, loaf of cinnamon bread, two bags of bagels, rolls, hot dog buns, and hamburger buns,we can carbo load for a marathon! But we won’t. Because we’re lazy. And, we’ll be in a coma after we wash it all down with our sixty beers.

He got booze! Things could be worse right?

Plus? This looks random fun.

I WANNA SAY THE KIDS BEGGED HIM FOR THESE, BUT NO, SORRY NO.

Bad week to start a diet…..Bon Appetit!

 

WHO NEEDS MEAT? I CAN'T EVEN COOK ANYWAY!