Posted by muffintopmommy | Posted in Awesomeness, Mom-ness, Retail Therapy, Suburban Madness, Things that make you go....awwww, Uncategorized | Posted on 29-07-2011
Tags: Lands' End, Marshall's, Santa, Santa's Village, swag
So after I shouted to the weather gods and all who would listen last week about how I was digging the 97 degree temps (Seriously? I took some heat (wink, wink) for that post. Someone musta been hating on me for saying that because they unsubscribed to muffintopmommy after that *apparently controversial* little diddy I posted. *Insert sad face* Maybe it was someone who sells hot cocoa for a living, lives in hotty, hot, hot Texarkana, or just isn’t down with my devil plans. I’ll never know!)
I think they cursed me because I got stuck in some randy weather this week. The hubs and I took the kids to Santa’s Village in northern New Hampshire the other day. It’s a really cute amusement park geared toward younger kids with a Christmas theme. I love it too, because, aside from watching how proud and excited the kids are to be able to ride some of the rides by themselves, well… I’m a total wuss and even I’m brave enough to ride all the rides. (Even the scary log flume ride which makes me simultaneously hold my breath and think death is imminent, while I clutch one of my kids in a Vulcan death grip because HELLO, why are there no seatbelts in the damn thing?) I totally get it. I get it. Some physics nerd figured out it’s physically impossible to plunge to your death due to velocity or gravity or whatever fangled thing the pocket protector crew are calling it these days but STILL. That just doesn’t compute to an English major who very truly worries about impending bodily harm to her brood.
Anyway, when we left our house which is a little more than two hours away from Santa’s playland, it was sunny and 75. When we got there, it was 61, cloudy, and intermittently rainy. WHA-AT?
We still had a blast, and I’m here to tell you, Santa is making a list and checking it twice. You heard it here. I trust you’ll be good! better than me
Not only was it Christmas in July, it was also my birthday. When you get to be a woman of a *cough* certain age, birthdays can be rather ho hum. But… the hubs never disappoints, and he so sweetly posted this on Facebook after our freezing ass day with Santie:
“Happy Birthday to my great wife and great mother! Oh, and a lucky lady I might add. You are welcome Janet for being able to spend your special birthday at Santa’s Village.”
I had to give him props as he had, indeed, outdone himself this birthday–except for where he sorta implies I’m both his wife and mother. (I let that part go. Marriage = shutting your fig, bat face sometimes.) Instead, you can publish it on the world wide web. Regardless! I responded:
“I AM lucky. Not every gal gets to be serenaded by a freaky, inbred looking elf on her bday and eat a burger that tastes like it’s from the elementary school caf! Romance: alive! Oh, and I almost forgot–scream louder than her 2 year old on the scary log ride!” (Dude, I told you I wasn’t kidding about that log ride!)
It’s all magic, all the time around here. Insert contended sigh. I mean now you know why I drink.
I speak only the truth here at Muffintopmommy. It hasn’t set me free yet, but hot damn, when I got home from my day o’ freezing fun, there was a big, brown box on my front steps!!! The truth got me a prize from Lands’ End!! And if you follow the muffintopmommy page on Facebook, you know they saw my Ready, Set, Scream post about 4 year old screaming for me to wipe his little arse when I was trying to talk to them on the phone about an order. Well, they thought it was funny and were happy I mentioned how wonderful their service was (truth!), so they kindly said they’d send me a cover up to go with my bathing suit. I don’t make much from this blogging gig zero, nada, zilch, so I was all, “Squee, hee, hee!” when they told me that. I told the woman I’d be psyched to get another cover up. I love their cover ups and actually wrote a review of one I’d bought earlier in the summer on their site. (Under the alias muffintopmommy. I’m muffintopmommy on yelp, too. This double life is gettin’ kinda crazy. Even the fam is starting to refer to me as MTM.) See!
Anyway, there was no cover up in the box! It was even better. Instead, there was funtastic oversized (how better to hide my middle aged eye wrinkles!) sunglasses, which I totally need because I’ve had my others for three years and Klutzy VonKlutzenberg I am, I’ve dropped them on the pavement so many times they’re scratched; a super adorable sun hat to shield my butt white Irish skin from the sun at the beach; and, a perfectly sized tote, simply screaming to be filled with smut mags, books, Cheez-It’s and perhaps an adult beverage or two.
Oh Lands’ End, how’d you know????
Virginia, there really is a Santa Claus! (He lives in Wisconsin and his initials are LE. And his summer stuff is now 65% off. Holla!) Thank you Lands’ End for hooking me up. (And for including a packing slip which said $0.00 because hubs was really eyeing me suspiciously when I said it was a fun box of free swag–what I can I say? I have a shopportunistic reputation. )
Despite the fact that I’d just gotten home from from my 12 hour round trip voyage to the North Pole aka Northern New Hampshire and my makeup was all smeary and I was craving a beery, I had to take a pic of the fun swag in case you want to buy now and save!
And yes, that is a Lands’ End polo I sported ALL day. What are the odds? (Um, actually, pretty high. Please refer to my reputation.) The shorts are not Lands’ End. They are from a little store I like to call, “Che Marshall’s”.
I’m not looking forward to my next bday because nothing can top Santa, fun Lands’ End swag, and a muffin top cake! May your birthday this year be so merry!