CALLING ALL cold MAMAS! ENTER TO WIN!

21

Posted by muffintopmommy | Posted in Awesomeness, Boys, boys, boys! And did I mention, boys?, Friends...you got what I ne-ed, Mom-ness, OH &^%$!!, Random Rage, Retail Therapy, Uncategorized | Posted on 11-02-2013

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. With three little kids and almost 13 years of marriage, I’m just hoping hubs will come home from work and sing something romantic to me.

“Let’s go Outback to-niiiight!” 

Curbside takeaway=porn for moms. Aim high. (I know. How greedy of me to hope for more after the promise of microwave slippers a few weeks ago. Don’t get all jealous, ladies. It’s not a good look!)

Hey, we can’t ALL live at Downton Abbey. My cook and lady maid are on extended vacay. Listen, we all have to play the hand we’re dealt! (Sometimes you get to frolic upstairs at Downton and eat with 27 silver utensils, sometimes you have to stir soup downstairs, and sometimes you’re stuck in suburgatory!) I’m not an addict. 

With arctic temps and over two feet of snow dumped on us this past weekend, it’s no shock my Valentine and I have our biggest rows over the thermostat. You’d think the muffin top would insulate but nooooo. Irish McFreezypants had to marry a hot blooded Italian who wears t-shirts inside the house in winter and fans himself with all the dramatics of a strange southern debutante with a Boston accent, “I’m sweeeeltahring!”

I’m sorry, Scahlett O’Hah-ra. Jeez. Since I’m shuffling about like a 4 foot kid from A Christmas Story, I’m not sympathetic!

So imagine my delight when I got the chance to review a Honeywell Energy Smart 360 Surround heater—just in time for the most wonderful time of the year! Along with mah gift of extra, energy efficient warmth, I received the following info which, I believe, demonstrates I am NOT the cray cray one in this house!

JUDGE AND JURY, I REST MY CASE!

MMM HMM. That’s what I’m talkin’ about.

I have to say this is a great little ceramic heater. It’s perfect to put under my desk by my feet while I work on my next book read Peep, and in our playroom which is often chilly since it abuts the non-heated garage–and it’s lightweight enough with convenient carrying handle to tote wherever my muffin top desires! It’s super quiet so it will not disturb any important Mario Kart racing, Lord Grantham viewing, or wine slurping. It has a wonderful control panel allowing you to adjust the temperature depending on how Christmas Story-ish you’re feeling, and how energy conscious you are! (Hey super duper green peeps, tada! You can pre-program the thermostat and even see how much energy you’re using with this heater.) This heater packs a punch as it can blast heat all the way around–hence the 360– or you can just use the 180 for a more targeted effect, and has excellent safety features like an overheat protection device, so you don’t burn the joint down! Bonus! (No really. Remember when Italian boy almost burned the house down thawing a pipe last year?)

Here’s what this little beauty looks like in real life—so you can see the scale:

SEE? TOTALLY COMPACT AND UNOBTRUSIVE!

Good news, m’ ladies (and m’ cold lords), you too can have a chance to experience this gem. Honeywell has graciously offered to send a heater to one lucky, soon to be toasty roasty, muffintopmommy reader. All you have to do is leave a comment with your name, and we will have a super official drawing—probably someone under 8 years old will pick a name out of a mixing bowl. You don’t even have to subscribe to mah blog, like me on Facebook, leave a blood sample, follow me on twitter, Pinterest, or the grocery store! (But I surely love when you do— minus the grocery store stalking–I don’t need you seeing the processed snacks in my cart!) Please enter here by next Monday, February, 18th by midnight. South Floridians need not apply. (I’m kidding! I know it gets like 45 down there at 2 in the morning once a year, you lovelies!). Heaters can be shipped to U.S. addresses only.

So what are you waiting for? Even if you don’t win, microwave slippers and a fabulous portable heater? For $59.99, or roughly the price of a Lands’ End sweater, you’re totally in biz. Visit www.kaz.com for more information on this and other Honeywell heaters.

Stay warm, muffintoppers!

*Honeywell did provide me with a free heater for review purposes. All opinions expressed are 100% my own. As usual. Ahem. 

SOMEONE LOOKS LIKE HE COULD USE SOME HEAT!

 

IT'S OCTOBER. I HAVE THE HEAT ON. TELL ME AGAIN WHY I LIVE HERE?

2

Posted by muffintopmommy | Posted in Some things just don't fit into a neat little box. The uncategory! | Posted on 14-12-2009

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Attention loyal muffintopmommy readers…you may notice it’s December, not October as the title of this post suggests. No, no, I haven’t been napping for the past few months (oh– but doesn’t that sound awesome!?). Here’s the thing: this is a post I originally wrote in October. If you’ve been following my blog since I first started it three months ago, you may remember it. With the holidays approaching, I just don’t have enough time to write new posts a few times a week like I’ve been doing. Even though the subject material in my blog is lighthearted, my posts actually take a considerable amount of time to write—time I just don’t have right now, unfortunately (but if someone wants to step up and volunteer to watch my kids, buy my presents, and clean my floors, I’ll write whatever you want! Yeah….that’s what I thought!) Anyway, I’d rather not put anything out there that is hastily written or not my best work. And, I decided, if tv shows can run repeats, well so can I! (If you don’t like it, well then I’ll have to give you your money back for your subscription…..oh wait, that’s right, you get to read for FREE!) :) At any rate, since this is my blog, I reserve the right to run a few repeats around the holidays, and I hope you stick with me until the new year. So, I’m picking some of my faves and hope you agree! The following post made me laugh today since I skidded in snow yesterday! Yes, I sure doooo love New England (and apparently, it loves me right back.) Enjoy!

 

It was a frosty 57 in my house this morning; it snowed yesterday in the northern part of my state.

It’s the middle of October.

Not the middle of November. Not the middle of December. OC-TO-BER.

I put the heat on. And it wasn’t the first time.

Tell me again why I live here?

I know a lot of steely people who refuse to put the heat on until a certain date, like November 1st. But I never last that long. For someone who grew up in New England, I hate the cold. I love so much about New England—the gorgeous coastline, the fall foliage, the rich history, the smell of fresh cut grass at Fenway….but once the leaves start to fall and a chill permeates the air, I get cranky.

You can say it. Go ahead. I’m a total wimp. The minute the thermostat says it’s below 65 in here, Pavlov hits the switch. (It’s for the children, you see!)

The woman on tv just said it’s 29 degrees out, and the highs today will be 44-48 degrees. Judging by her hair and makeup, I’m pretty sure she was a meteorologist and not a stand up comic—but one can hope, no?

It’s all a matter of perspective. If it were mid December, I’d accept it and put on a sweater and heavy fleece and be glad it wasn’t snowing. If it were mid January, I’d be doing the happy dance and probably be asking my husband, “Do you think it’s warm enough for capris?”

But October? Oh yeah, it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to!

A guy from the west coast sat next to me on the train the other day.

“I’m from Malibuuuuuuuuuuu,” he preened. Well la-dee-da. Tell Charlie Sheen I say hi!

“And I? Am from the frozen tundra,” I retorted, “And I love it!” It was only a slight fib. I do love it. The six months of the year that it’s not almost winter, winter and almost spring. And besides, people with muffin tops are not allowed in southern Cal!

Did he assume from my People mag, I’d be impressed he hailed from the land o the beautiful ones? I merely grabbed Peep and not The Wall Street Journal because it was much smaller and easier to roll up into my over packed bag!

(It is too true! Get your facts straight—Peep is very portable! I could care less about Jon Gosselin and Lindsay Lohan’s dad’s bromance! I SO want to read about the Dow. I do!)

Besides, why would I want to live out there and mingle with the stars (Good for you that you had lipo! I don’t want lipo! I don’t need lipo! Okay, maybe I need lipo.)  And lie at the beach in October? (I can’t lie at the beach here in July. With three boys four and under, I’m a lifeguard not a sunbather—and besides, I haven’t had lipo!) Wine and dine al fresco, you say? (Al what? If it doesn’t have a plastic pager or kids coloring pages, I ain’t going anyway! And the last time I dined al fresco with my husband ALONE, I blew my big shot out with the grown ups… by dropping my beer glass on the sidewalk. Save it—it was my first one. I am THAT clutzy. And you wonder why I failed at organized sports? I can’t navigate a glass to my lips—you think I’m going to get a ball in a hoop?)

So when train guy bragged about planning to go body surfing when he got back to the OC, instead of shouting, “Rat bastard! Them are fightin’ words!”, I did what any self respecting New Englander would do.

I bit my lip. I held my tongue. And I lied.

“That sounds nice. But I have to tell you, I can’t wait for it to snow. We’ll make snowmen with the kids, go sledding, and maybe put a small ice rink in our back yard to skate whenever we want! And, we’ll have cocoa with marshmallows!” Yes, it will be a scene to rival Currier and Ives…. when I’m not wiping runny noses, peeling 18 layers off some gremlin who says, ‘I have to pee!’ the minute we get outside, and spending a million dollars on heating fuel because the blood that courses through my veins is about as thin as that of a South Floridian of 90!

I think he bought it. Do you think he bought it?